Learning to be Selfish

Before I teach you how to be selfish I want to start by talking about selflessness. There are so many different ideas when it comes to selflessness. To some it means complete repression of desire and pleasure. To others it means focusing completely on other’s needs. And to others it just means focusing on yourself a little bit less.

I think how most people approach selfless living is more likely codependent living. Many people serve because it gives them some feeling of worth or value not because it’s overflowing from their heart. Let me explain.

When we were crucified with Christ our old self died (the selfish, angry, independent self). When we were resurrected with Christ our true self (original design) was recreated in us (the one that’s joined with Christ).

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” — 2 Corinthians 5:17

So now, on this side of your crucifixion and resurrection you don’t have to repress desire or focus on other people’s needs. You have a new task:

Live from your heart.

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will never fulfill the desires of the flesh. For what the flesh wants is opposed to the Spirit, and what the Spirit wants is opposed to the flesh.” — Galatians 5:16

Your new heart is filled with good desires. Some of them relate to you, some of them relate to others, but all of them are related to Jesus.

That all sounds good in theory right? But what about when you want to punch through a wall, or tell your boss off, or cuss out that driver that just cut you off? Well those aren’t your desires.

Circumstances in life trigger hurts from your past that cause you to react with your flesh. This doesn’t mean that those reactions are your deepest desires. It just means that somewhere along this painful journey of life, you’ve learned that your flesh works better than your spirit.

Don’t accept those reactions as a definition of who you are. You are not a summation of your experiences. You are a new creation. You have good desires. You are one with Christ.

So next time you’re trying to figure out how to respond, take a step back and ask a simple question:

“What would I do?”

And do that. Because you’ve been joined with Christ and your desires are good.